one might say we're banned from that church
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
