Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
