summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
