I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
