he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
