You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
