i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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