So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
