SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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