let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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