We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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