I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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