that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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