this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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