What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
