Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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