i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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