Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so let's talk penis.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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