I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
