I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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