You made me cry and you don't even care
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have demons in me.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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