My room smells like vodka and shame
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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