My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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