why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
