fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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