Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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