he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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