I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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