she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dignity is for republicans.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
