i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
