I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
