i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
