The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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