Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
