I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you traded sex for a burrito?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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