The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
