You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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