the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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