she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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