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• (562): View more from California

  Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....

  (949): View more from California

  Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back

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• (+65): View more from

  He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?

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• (631): View more from New York

  Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  too bad burritos don't cuddle back

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• (699): View more from

  I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend

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• (512): View more from Texas

  the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe

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