Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have fence marks all over my body
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
