Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Randomize
