in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
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by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
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I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags