I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.