Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You can't just leave with hair like that
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.