fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
