I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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