dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
