i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
