lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
