Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
