Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Panties = found
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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