Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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