you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize