That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
