Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
