WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
