You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
