p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My cat gives me a boner
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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