In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
