The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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