i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I love you. Go after that dick
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
