does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
